cold ιѕ тнe wαтer

xredneck:

  _{It wasn’t difficult to work it out. Rick didn’t
want company today. That’s just how life
worked for them now. But something told
him to stay, this time; something told him
to just wait this out; because Rick needed
to know that using that walking stick;}

  _{it wouldn’t make him any less of a leader
in Daryl’s eyes.}

  _{Everytime he looked at the man, though;
everytime he acknowledged the cuts and
bruises on his skin; the broken bones and
shattered ribs, the crippled walk and the
barely functioning organ system; all that
seemed to happen was that Daryl’s eyes
would cloud over with guilt all the more.}

  _{It hurt.}

  _{Quiet, tentative steps; cautious and testing
of the waters he’d allowed to become still;
eerily still; as he moved toward the bathroom.
He’d love to tell Rick things were taken care
of. He’d love to tell him that things were going
to start looking up for them. That they’d find
the others, and that everyone would be safe.}

  _{He’d tell him all sorts of things if he knew it
would change anything at all.}

  _{❝ I get that, ❞ he says, in response, quietly.
Daryl rarely knows what to do in these
situations. He goes with what he knows will
help. Food, normally. Even if it might burn
to try and force down his throat.}

  _{❝ You gotta eat, though. ❞}

  _{In pallid moonlight the pair are lit; like the
dullest beacons in the midst of a terribly
dark night. He glances to the side wall,
before noticing the bath; and the hunter
takes a seat on it’s side. Maybe Rick won’t
want him around. Maybe one day that might
stop him. The bitterness in his words
certainly isn’t doing Daryl’s confidence any
favours. He tries to stop wondering whether
it’s actually directed at him or not.}

  _{Because maybe Rick’s cold words, maybe;
just maybe; they’re trying to tell him something.
He knows he messed up, he knows he could
have made things better, different, if he’d tried;
but was Rick trying to tell him he wasn’t good
at all for him and Carl now?}

  _{He had to stop thinking like that. It was going
to ruin him one day if he didn’t.}

_{This was the last straw for Rick Grimes, he was
somewhat surprised that it hadn’t been the thing
to push him over the edge. What was the point?
Why should he even bother? He was living the
same routine every day of his life - wake up, lie
in bed and debate whether dying today, stare at
the walking stick for a while, eat some food, 
maybe lie on the bathroom floor if he felt like it.}

_{This wasn’t the life he wanted. In all honesty, he
didn’t really want any life anymore.}

_{He wanted to put the blame on someone other
than himself, he wanted to yell and scream at
Daryl for not getting to him in time. Heck, he 
wanted to yell at him for not being by his side
when he’d first entered the house. Deep down,
he knew he couldn’t blame Daryl, that it wasn’t
really his fault.}

_{It could have happened to anyone.}

_{If anything, the hunter felt guilty enough. He 
could see it in his eyes, watched as the man
could barely stare at him without feeling sick
or wanting to run in the opposite direction}

_Run.

_{Daryl could have run but he hadn’t, and for
that he was grateful. He wouldn’t have got this
far without him, he would have died a long time
ago.}

_{The thought of having to force something down
his throat made him feel physically sick. He refused
to do it, he’d done it so many times before. He was
not hungry and he did not need nursing. He would
have to figure out how to look after himself incase
anything did happen to Daryl - which something
probably would.}

_{All the people he l o v e d died.}

_{❝ I’m not hungry, ❞ he knew it wouldn’t mean jack
shit to Daryl, that he’d force him to eat anyway. He’d
mutter something about how he needed to, how if he
didn’t, Carl would worry. Food did nothing for him.
When he seats himself down on the edge of the bath,
he knows he won’t be going anywhere until he agrees
to eating something, to maybe talking about his feelings.
He didn’t have many feelings left inside of him, nor did 
he want them.}

_{Frustrated, he glared towards the hunter, attempting to
clench his fists but failing to do so. He was too weak.
He wanted to yell for him to leave, to push him away
from the room they stood in, but he knew it was no use.
He’d only fall in the process and would have to be carried
by Daryl again to the bed, like he’d done so many times
before.}

_{Daryl had carried him so many times before - it made him
feel pathetic, vulnerable, He hated himself.}

1. xrarchived-blog reblogged this from officerfriendlygrimes and added:

   Something in the way Rick had glared so hatefully at him, and in the way he’d clenched his fists as tightly as he could,...

2. officerfriendlygrimes reblogged this from xrarchived-blog and added:

   This was the last straw for Rick Grimes, he was somewhat surprised that it hadn’t been the thing to push him over the...

3. the-farmersdaughter liked this
4. ofcriminalgrace liked this
5. tysarchived-blog liked this